


SHIELD Is NOT An Animal Shelter

by dearwhimsy



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Barton has a soft spot for strays, Coulson has a soft spot for Barton, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-23
Updated: 2012-06-23
Packaged: 2017-11-08 08:59:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/441469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dearwhimsy/pseuds/dearwhimsy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Barton fails to be a proper SHIELD agent and Coulson ends up with another stray.</p>
            </blockquote>





	SHIELD Is NOT An Animal Shelter

Coulson looks mildly at the sheepish and dirty figure in front of him. He very deliberately did  _not_  look at the equally filthy (but no less deadly beautiful) woman being half carried by his wayward agent.

“So…”

“No.”

“But Coul—”

“No.”

“Oh come on—”

“NO.”

Coulson gives Barton an extremely mild look. Barton closes his mouth and pouts instead.

“How many times do we have to have this discussion Barton? Your orders were to take her down, not drag her in like an abandoned stray you want to adopt.”

The guilty look on Barton’s face at Coulson’s admonishment gives Coulson pause for a moment. Surely, Barton wasn’t planning to suggest…? Coulson can almost feel the headache building behind his temples. Barton hugs the half-conscious redhead closer to him as if to keep Coulson from taking her away from him.

“ _Definitely no._  For the last time Barton, SHIELD is a classified government enforcement agency. Not a shelter for strays.”

“But, but,” Yep, Barton wanted to bring her into the fold, “Phil!”

Shit. Coulson forces himself not to cringe. Barton was using first names now which meant the damn puppy dog expression wasn’t far off now. It was quite ridiculous really how effective that expression was considering the man behind it had a body count higher than Maria’s Angry Birds high score. Even Fury himself had fallen for it on occasion.

"Please Phil? I promise to watch over her. Get her trained on all the SHIELD courses and make sure she only goes after the targets assigned to her." And of course because it was Barton, "I'll even walk her and make sure she get her shots." he adds with a wink.

Coulson takes a good look at the woman in Barton's hold. The Black Widow, the former Soviet Union's most infamous femme fatale.

At first glance, most observers’ would probably feel sorry for her. She was beautiful in a way that even the blood and mud couldn’t cover up and oh so seemingly fragile in Barton’s arms. Coulson knew better. This was the woman that had singlehandedly ruined three major operations that they knew of and was suspected of having a hand in the failure of at least a dozen others.

She had been trained from birth essentially to be the perfect spy and as lethal as her handle’s namesake. Even concussed and dependent on Barton to keep her upright as she was, Coulson’s instincts screamed that she was still watching and still oh so very dangerous. He had learned over the years to trust those instincts.

“Phil,” Barton calls back his attention gently, “Trust me.”

He’d also learned to trust Barton.

“She’s dangerous and Fury is  _not_  going to be happy.”

Clint grins. He knows Coulson’s already given in by now.

“Is he ever anything other than  _furi_ ous anyways?”

It takes a tremendous amount of will but Coulson manages to refrain from rolling his eyes.

“And so what Barton? You’re just going to adopt her and turn her into a proper SHIELD agent just like that?”

“It can be done.” He pauses and then his grin fades to something warmer and more intimate, “After all, you did it with me.”

Coulson can’t help but scoff and retorts wryly, “You are the furthest thing from a proper SHIELD agent I can think of. For one, proper agents actually follow orders instead of trying to bring in more headaches for us to deal with.”

Barton beams at him unrepentantly. Coulson shakes his head slightly and gives up the token protest. It’d been over twenty four hours and he was too tired to really argue with Barton over proper agent behavior or the wisdom of dragging in lethal strays. He simply turns on his heels and starts heading back to the transport waiting for them outside the warehouse. Barton follows behind him, still half carrying the SHIELD’s newest stray.  

As they climb in and settle down for the rough ride ahead, the Coulson comes to a rather distressing realization. He’s probably going to end up  _her_  handler too.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by this [post](http://leupagus.tumblr.com/post/25610816732/ifeelbetterer-starting-to-root-for-this-guy) by the lovely leupagus and crossposted to my tumblr.


End file.
